Yesterday, many newspapers and TV stations carried the news of the first criminal prosecution of a member of the British royal family since the beheading of Charles I. The Princess Royal pleaded guilty to having a boisterous dog. But what many media outlets missed was the critical role two bicycles played in this historic event...

Bike-loving bitch bites boy bikers (and bounds into the history books)

This was a case legally entitled Regina versus Laurence, in effect the Queen was prosecuting her own daughter.

The Princess Royal – or Laurence, Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise – pleaded guilty to being in charge of a dog which caused injury in a public place under section 3(1) of the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991.

Dotty the guilty royal dog bit two boys, cousins, aged 7 and 12. The boys were riding their bikes in Windsor Great Park.

According to Dr. Roger Mugford, a dog behaviourist, Dotty’s problem was "excitement at bicycles."

This was revealed to a district judge at East Berkshire Magistrates’ Court in Slough yesterday.

The boys attacked by Dotty were on a family cycle ride.

The Princess Royal’s solicitor said Dotty, clearly a discerning bitch, had “a high degree of interest in bicycles.”

After the biting incident, Dr. Mugford went to Dotty’s palatial home at Gatcombe Park for a two-hour psychiatric session with the bicycle-fixated canine.

According to The Times, Dr Mugford recreated the ‘bicycle incident’.

He rode "round the garden making a lot of noise. The dog became excited, but when he repeated the experiment after firing off a canister of harmless gas to divert her attention, Dotty showed no further interest in bicycles."

So, there you go, if you are "excited" by or have a "high degree of interest" in bicycles, gas yourself silly and the unnatural urges will go away.

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